Human Flesh

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Human Flesh
Crawl Space

"Human Flesh"
Human Flesh promo 2.jpg
Episode number 1
Original airdate January 9, 2011
Production code 1ASA01
Guest stars Ron Lynch as Ron
Written by Loren Bouchard
Jim Dauterive
Directed by Anthony Chun

"Human Flesh" is the first episode season 1. It aired on January 9, 2011.


Bob rallies the team to cook up some business, so he sends middle child Gene to push samples in the streets, eldest daughter Tina to work the grill and youngest daughter Louise to staff the counter. The day takes an unexpected turn when the health inspector pays a visit because of a little rumor Louise started during "show and tell" at school.


Bob gives his family a pep talk concerning their re-re-re-opening, and its being Labour Day weekend. He is first interrupted by Linda, then Gene's sound effects loudspeaker, and finally by Tina whose crotch is itchy. Despite the interruptions, he finishes his pep talk, and assigns everyone their positions.

Gene is outside handing out free samples, but accidentally gives samples to people coming out of the crematorium next door, like he was told not to. They knock the samples out of his hands.

Bob and Linda are downstairs grinding meat. Linda then begins to hint towards their anniversary, but Bob is oblivious. When he's asked the date, he only just slides through, and Linda is annoyed. It then flashes back to previous occasions on which Bob has forgotten about them. When it flashes back, Linda storms off from anger.

Upstairs, Gene is picking the samples up off the ground. Health inspectors Hugo and Ron walk up and tell him that he can't give them away. When he complains, they tell him that they're health inspectors. The health inspectors walk inside and get Louise to take them to the kitchen.

Downstairs, Linda and Bob are still arguing about Bob's forgetfulness. When the former thinks the latter is planning something for the couple's anniversary, she gets excited and assumes everything he's doing is for a surprise party, letting him go.

In the kitchen, Louise and Tina annoy Ron and Hugo while they inspect the place. Gene walks out from the toilet, and acts immature. This sets Hugo off, and asks to the whereabouts of the grown-ups. Bob enters from below, and Hugo explains the amount of laws the restaurant has broken. Despite this, the kids and Bob begin arguing who would be best to serve a child molester who has walked in.

Hugo finally gets Bob's attention, and tells him why they're actually there. He explains that there's a rumor going around that they make their burgers with human remains from the crematorium. Bob expresses his wonder at how a rumor like that could've started, hinting at Louise, flashing back to Louise saying it during show and tell at school. In the present, Louise does not admit to it, just putting it down to kids in general. Hugo proceeds to tell Bob that, once they've tested their meat, if it contains human flesh (anything above the 4% allowable by the FDA), then they'll close the restaurant, and Bob shall go to jail.

Linda enters from the basement, expecting a surprise party, but finds everyone. She's surprised to see Hugo, and vice versa. They question each other as to why they're there, and he's shocked to find that Bob and Linda are married. Gene puts out a small fire, interrupting their conversation numerous times.

To be finished

Other information[edit]


  • At the beginning of the episode, the family is standing up listening to Bob's pep talk. Scenes later, they are sitting on stools that weren't there at the beginning of the episode.
  • Bob hands Gene the burger samples on a plate, but when Gene makes sound effects with his "sound-effects thingy", the plate has disappeared, and then it re-appears again.


  • The episode is set on September 3rd, Bob and Linda's anniversary.


The episode was watched by 9.41 million homes in its first airing. It received a 4.5 rating and an 11% share among adults between the ages of 18 and 49.


Promotional images[edit]